Alder's Tone

Another week, another set of kicking sessions. And for what? Well, I’m another 7 days closer to becoming that E-Class (no reminder this time). Beyond that it’s just as the title suggests.

So what about the highs & lows?

The lows of the last week have to be the weather. Being rather warm has its draw-backs for the Fat Lady – restlessness, uncomfortable, irritable. Though how this last one differs from normal is anyone’s guess. In Scotland we’re not used to temperatures into double figures, never mind leading 2s. And hitting a leading 3 in the nursery has caused some worried looks.

Pirates of the Carribean - Dead Man's Chest will probably be the last film we'll see at the cinema before the big arrival. It was nothing like seeing Ice Age 2 with our Godson and his parents a few months ago - now that was a great and monumentous occasion, being his first cinema trip.

The highs. The Fat Lady got confirmation of maternity pay from work this week. It’s like approaching a roundabout – “Roundabout ahead, reduce speed now”, only in our world it's “4 weeks left”, “panic NOW”, “Sorry, mis-judged, it’s here, apologies if you crashed”. All the way there are milestones, all of which warn you of the impending, none of which you can do anything about. The next crash warning is the first ante-natal class, but that is strictly speaking taking place at the start of week 37, so will be covered later.

Stimulating...not!Another high is "Ripley" responding to music. We have a DVD recording of the private scan done at 23 weeks, and I set this to two pieces of music. The first part is Gustav Holst's Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity from The Planets. I wanted Mars, the Bringer of War but was over-ruled, even Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age was frowned upon. The second is Shapeshifter's Lola's Theme. The reason for this wasn't the lyrics but because we had come out of two scans, the early scan and the private scan, to hear this on the radio. The lyrics are just a bonus. I haven't played the video for a while and was sat the other night with the Fat Lady in the room. ""Ripley"'s kicking". So a couple of nights later I tried again. And sure enough, "Ripley" starts up again. Holst - nyada. Shapeshifters - bring it on.

The change in social calendar has started to take effect. Sure, the Fat Lady has been off the booze for some time, but that hasn’t really been a showstopper. A wedding this weekend won’t be a problem either, apart from neither of us will be drinking. But we’re encountering our first social cancellations already.

We have taken stock of the situation regarding the heat and the Fat Lady’s tiredness and missed the local airshow. With the G8 conference intruding on it last year (the American Secret Service “requested” it was cancelled in the interests of security) we were looking forward to this year's show.

The second social cancellation in the same day was a 30th birthday party. More gutted about missing the latter (obviously), not least as there was an extra special celebration. Congratulations to Richard & Zoe on their happy news. No, it's not baby related, more "rock" related.

They are the first things to fall by the wayside, but not the only. And the list will go Ariston. For those who can’t remember the 1990’s advert, the Ariston goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on.

Post-birth cancellations already made include one wedding that will be missed, another looking dodgy. And then all bets are off for, what, 21 years?

And then there's one we don't quite know where it fits, because it's just before due day. The annual Leatham August BBQ is out for us, so that's our regular-as-clockwork August Bank Holiday out of the window. I must apologise to Matt as he's going to have to find a new chef! I hope the temporary replacement doesn't strike a better deal than I get! Was the word temporary emphasised enough there?

Considering nearly nothing has happened this week, this is a big read.

Posted by Alder at 30 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3)

It’s no secret we’re looking for a more practical car. I still love my Bug, but it’s just giving too many doubts with the shape of the boot over whether or not the pram will go in it. So far the thought scores are:

Will it? 0
Won’t it? 10,657,342

So what have we ruled out so far?

Nissan Note so far “on hold” due to the lack of testing on the car seat.

Honda Jazz due to the complete red cross against the car seat.

So what’s next? Ford Fiesta. The rock solid small car that’s been around the block a few times, yet is always there. It was my mum’s second car, our first, and the Fat Lady’s first “second” car. So we went to have a look on Friday.

No ISOFIX in my
dayNo ISOFIX. What? In a market where the Fiesta is likely to be a firm choice for a second car (at this point we rapidly realised that we are become Mr & Mrs average Middle-England, and it scares me), when the child seat legislation changes in September, Ford are missing a trick. On further inspection across the range only the Focus II is compatible with the Maxi-Cosi Easyfix ISOFIX base without the need for seatbelts.

Ford need to get this fixed. The new Bug has had ISOFIX as standard since start of production, and this isn’t a first choice for growing families (well, not ours anyway).

As Henry would say, “any seat fixing as long as it’s a belt”

The dealer was pretty good and made us feel warm and fuzzy inside over Ford. Fiesta? Specced up we might as well spend a few hundred quid more (hundred, not thousand) and get a Focus.

More thought needed.

Posted by Alder at 30 July 2006 | Permalink

The Edinburgh Royal Infirmary's maternity provision seems to be a target for the Edinburgh Evening News this week. In Week 35: Getting more real I posted a comment about the story they published regarding transfers. Today's topic is MRSA and the neo-natal unit's record for last year.

So what is their angle?

First off they say there have been three outbreaks. But they don't say over what time period. Is that in 2005, or since the place opened?

It came to light after four cases emerged at the end of last year. So was that four cases happened late last year, or the four cases were only passed on to the powers that be at the end of last year (ie covered up in the interim)?

A further two outbreaks in April & May where five babies were found with MRSA. Is that five across the two months, or five each month?

So there's an action plan to clean up. Fantastic, then.

It's only a small story today, so it's been edited down to leave more questions than the given facts. Am I worried about MRSA? Of course I am, but no more and no less than I was twenty minutes ago before I read this.

You can read and worry about far too much in life.

Posted by Alder at 26 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

I apologise in advance, this is becoming a major rant of mine. So why I am posting on the blog? Well, two reasons. Firstly so I have a record of events, and secondly so I have a record of events. I need the backup.

It all started in January 2001. Western VW, Edinburgh, me and The Fat Lady bought a New Beetle. And we had problems from day one. And that is NOT used as a turn of phrase, it was literally from day one.

I picked up the car after work. It was a late January day, and the weather was typically wet. On the way home I’d managed to rack up a whole 19 miles on the clock, 9 of which were on the car when I picked it up, when I needed the wipers. Shortly after they were switched on there was some thudding noise coming from them. I couldn’t stop as I was on a trunk road, dual carriageway. To cut a long story short, the grease monkey who checked the car hadn’t fitted the wipers correctly, so the rubber slid out from its housing, the thudding noise was the loose rubber hitting the side of the car. New windscreen was needed as it was scratched as a result.

Then it all started:

New windscreen in, car went in, couldn’t fit it as it had been damaged.
New windscreen in. No contact. When I went in I was told they had sent me a postcard and left a message on my answering machine. No postcard arrived, no message on the answering machine.

Car now at six months old:
Rear brakes squeaking. Car in for a looksee, no fault found. Squeaking getting rapidly worse, every time the car went in I asked for a look, “NFF”.

First service. Spare tyre never checked. Couldn’t prove it, but the stuff in the boot had never moved so it was never looked at. Service regime changed from a 12,000/annual to a 24,000/bi-annual with longlife oil due to expected increase in mileage. Asked for a litre of oil to throw in the boot, was sold oil for a diesel engine. “NFF” on squeaking brakes.

10,000 miles since first service, circa 6 months. Service warning came on, but still some way before due. In to get regime change checked, was told they carried out a 10,000 mile service and that’ll be £184, please. Errm, no chance. Oh we haven’t done the service, just changed the regime, that’ll be free. “NFF” on squeaking brakes.

Second service – car at 30,000 miles and 2 years old. “NFF” on squeaking brakes. Asked them to check service regime, all OK. Mileage covered now back down to normal. Tyres checked as part of service, recorded at 4mm tread depth both front tyres. I had a tyre changed at 17,000 miles, so one had done 30K, one 13K. I had checked them in the morning before the service, 4mm and 2mm respectively. “Oh, just a mis-type”. Aye, right. My guess is one tyre was checked and the other assumed. The trap I left for the spare tyre proved they checked it this time.

Dealer is not
measuring up
to the logo's
reputation.
12 months later, service warning light after half the time and half the distance it should be set for. Complained, was told it was my “driving style”. So how come my BMW has actually increased my mileage when I drive that in a similar fashion? And it is EXACTLY half way through? ECU checked, fault in the service regime not being stored, forced and OK. “NFF” on squeaking brakes.

Car just under 3 years old, in for MoT. Squeaking brakes now doing my nut. Guess what – MoT failed on rear brakes. They were locking on. Cleaned for £65+VAT, not under warranty. 2.5 years I’d been driving a car with “NFF” yet would fail an MoT. But the fault was found in the MoT. Funny, eh?

Just before age 4 years, warning lights come on for brakes – ABS and ESP switched off. Only now and again so not too concerned, especially as only happens when wet and been sat idle for a while, and will clear will a stop/start of the engine.

Second MoT. Fail on front brakes, imbalance above legal tolerance. Second MoT failure on brakes.

July 2006 – car in for check on brakes system as warning lights coming on more often. £141 for guided diagnostics, cleaned earth connections, basically “NFF”. 3 hours later, lights back on.

Now, a detailed list of faults is being collated. There have been faults with the brakes far more than not during the ownership of this car, which was from new. I do not feel safe with The Fat Lady driving it, and Western are as much help as an unhelpful person from Unhelpfulville.

So this morning I gave the detailed list of fault warnings over the last 2 weeks and said this would be in the formal complaint I would be making regarding this car. I didn’t say it was going to VOSA, VW/Audi UK and Western’s head office, and completely bypassing the local manager. I’m expecting a call (because I was advised I would get one) from the customer service manager at Western. I wouldn’t like to be him when I offer him the opportunity to drive around in the Bug for a few days.

Posted by Alder at 26 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (9)

Today is 34+6, which makes tomorrow 35+0. So as the 35th week comes to a close, what's in store for the immediate future? And the next 5 weeks?

Mainly three things: Panic, panic, and panic. Sounds like Tony Blair's 1997 election priorities of "education, education and education". Turns out that was "spin, spin, and John Prescott's spin". But this panic isn't likely to do a governmental U-turn.

Ante-natal classes start up next week, not looking forward to that. With large groups I'm half expecting it to be dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. I hope I'm wrong.

It's all getting a little real now, the bags are starting to get packed, the baby's room has been cleared, decorated, filled with rubbish, cleared again. This last week's highlights have been:

1) Buying the car seat
2) Fitting the car seat
3) Panic setting in over not being able to remove the base for the car seat from the ISOFIX mounts as the manual was in its own little pocket between the base and the back of the main seat, unnaccessible
4) Falling heart-rate when I got the base off without the manual
5) Washing the first clothes, knowing that the "I want to hang them on the line" cutey-cute moment will soon turn to "you hang out the f*cking washing, I've changed 7 nappies today"

Oh, joy...

And on a serious note, Edinburgh Evening News ran a story yesterday about the number of hospital transfers in and out of Simpson's (the Royal Infirmary's maternity unit) and it's quite alarming. As Simpson's is one of four Scottish super sized units with all the trimmings they take high risk and premature births from around the country. Which mean local uncomplicated births get farmed out elsewhere.

So what's the problem? Well, two things for me.
1) The possibility of getting there, parking the car, then getting whisked off to the other end of the British Isles in an ambulance. And all the while the car parking charges are racking up. No doubt I'd have to follow in the car anyway, and miss the main event.
2) One of the Evening News story's subjects was a mum who was airlifted to Manchester from Edinburgh. MANCHESTER???? As a devout Yorkshireman no child of mine will be born that side of the Pennines. Now this has scarred me.

** I actually meant to type scared me, not scarred me, on that last line. But I'll leave it as is. **

Posted by Alder at 25 July 2006 | Permalink

Part 2 of the moans and praise "franchise". I must ask Richard what constitutes a "franchise" in the movie world (eg Pirates of the Carribean) when a "franchise" may have the same production team....

I digress. As seen in M&P Part 1 (NOT to be confused with M&P of the Mamas & Papas trademark variety) I had the bar raised on customer service by Glasgow Pram Centre. Well, this weekend it was held up there, possibly creeping higher. Hence their very own entry!

In Part 1 I said how easy it was to get the order in over the phone after the stock query, i.e. same person all the way through. The in-store operation is quite slick too, even though there is some walking about (where's the electric wheelchair when you need one, I'm a fat lazy bloater and can't be bothered walking, ya ken?)

The staff are just so helpful in there. If you need a seat fitting they'll try it out for you. The first time we went through someone was trying a Maxi-Cosi Priorifix in an Audi TT. So at least they are up for a challenge! It did remind me of one of the Yellow Pages adverts with James Nesbitt asking for a quote for his Tequila Sunrise coloured Chevrolet with seats totalling "two ;-) ".

When the order confirmation arrived in the post there was a request to phone the day before collection so they could get the warehouse prepared. The Fat Lady duly did, and on Saturday we went to collect. There are plenty of staff floating around on the shop floor for helping customers. I mean, in Dixons they are just there to pounce on you and screw you for extended warranties, but in a baby shop the chances are a lot of customers are going to be like the E-Class Jeremy Clarkson talked about (and if you don't know by now that the E-Class looks more startled than the rabbit it's about to hit then you've missed reading an important post!), so a little help and advice isn't just nice to have, it's essential.

Even the lads in the warehouse were helpful - both boxes carried out to the car for us, and put in the car for us. I felt useless, which was not the first time during The Fat Lady's pregnancy, certainly won't be the last.

The only downside is parking, there's not a lot of it at all, and it's just opposite the "Barras" to make it really tricky.

I just wish we could have got the pram there, too. Just had "special reasons" not to (thanks, Nick!)

Posted by Alder at 24 July 2006 | Permalink

...shit?

The Encyclopedia of Modern Life, by Steve Lowe & Alan McArthur, bought by Richard for my birthday earlier this year.

I would argue against the title straight away on the following grounds. Now I am travelling cattle class on the train I have no conversation in a morning or on the way home, so I get two lots of twenty-five minutes to sit and read, so in that respect life's good.

This is sometimes funny as, sometimes dull, sometimes a "whoo-there, big fella, calm yersel", sometimes "oh shit, that's ME!".

Thanks, Rich, I'm sure that was the intention! No review, just thanks!

Posted by Alder at 24 July 2006 | Permalink

The blog will be "offline" for a few days. It'll still be there, but I'm turning comments off, not adding any new entries etc. This is to get a static point as I move to a proper host, then it'll be up 24x7.

I have no idea when it'll be back - this will be once I've transferred the templates, rebuilt it, added the customised stylesheet entries, and removed the full paths to images in favour of relative paths (don't ask me why I did this in the first place...)

Click "Continue reading..." for latest updates

[20060723 19:01]
All files moved across, site rebuilt. Leaving offline until checked out.

[20060723 19:20]
Few issues with copying date archive template the wrong way (ie default over existing tailored version rather than other way around). Category & sub-category hierarchy sorted. Think I'm there, almost! TypeKey authentication token added for temporary URL and domain URL for when trasnferred.

[20060723 20:30]
Only sendmail doesn't seem to be working, apart from that all moved over. Well, that was less hassle than I thought it would be.

[20060724 13:14]
Sendmail not playing ball. May need to call in some help (nnnnnooooooooooooooooo............). Oh, and relative image paths didn't work, will try once I have a proper URL once I change nameservers.

[20060724 20:43]
Sendmail sorted, is dropping the emails into my unconfigured mailbox on the localhost when sent to my domain (as yet not transferred), so temporarily routing to a gmail address. No help needed (pheww....)

Posted by Alder at 23 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

I’ve had two run-ins with people over the smoking ban in Scotland this afternoon, at exactly the same place.

I have yet to see anyone break the law in a pub, but Edinburgh’s Waverley station is frequently the scene of smokers lighting up in a prohibited area.

So, this afternoon. I’m waiting by the taxi drop-off point, about 10 feet from one of the many A-frame advertising boards with the prohibition notice. An old boy (72 years old he was) had lit up at the side of me. So I pointed out he was in a no-smoking area. “But I thought it was up there”. I pointed out it was the whole station, as on that sign. Then he launched, in front of his grand-daughter, into a tirade. “72 years old I am, always smoked, never been to the doctor, and it’s do-gooders like you…” Well, that lit the blue touch-paper. He did not appreciate I was pointing this out so a member of station staff didn’t have to, and thus potentially avoiding a fine. He wouldn’t have been fined anyway, there’s a softly-softly approach in place, but that’s not really why I felt the need.

He did put it out after I walked away from his ranting, but was still muttering away under his breath.

Not two minutes later, a young chap (of an age I never established) lit up as he walked past the sign. Now this sign is around 3 feet tall, so there’s no way he missed it. I did point at it, got shrugged shoulders in response. As he turned the corner of the building two police officers also turned the same corner in the opposite direction. At which point our intrepid smoker tried to conceal his fag in his hand.

The concealment did not have the desired effect. One of the police officers sniffed the air, looking quizzical. Once I gestured to them as if I was smoking, then pointed in the guy’s direction, one turned-about and had a quiet word. He acknowledged and said thank you.

Do I feel bad about “grassing” him up? In a way yes, I was brought up never to grass. But the indignant look he gave me when he blatantly ignored the sign made it a deserving case. I firmly believe it is a smoker’s right to smoke, but where and when legal to do so. And rightly or wrongly it is currently illegal to smoke in Edinburgh’s main station. Until such time the law is repealed it must be enforced.

And the old boy? He may well never need a doctor, but does need an anger management therapist, clearly. I hope he had a good rant when he met his daughter and got it off his chest.

Background:
All enclosed public spaces are smoke-free in Scotland. And that includes the train station at Edinburgh, which is totally covered. The only place within the station boundary where smoking is permitted is from a point circa half way up each vehicular access ramp, where the roof stops and is thus classed as open space.

Posted by Alder at 19 July 2006 | Permalink

This story starts a while ago when I bought a product from a company who we’ll call “Cloud”. I had a service package from Cloud and wanted to upgrade to what we’ll call “Cloud-“. So I placed an order for Cloud- on Cloud’s website and, with a couple of minor hiccups, all was well.

Then 12 months later the fun started.

I got a phone call from Cloud saying the warranty on my Cloud- equipment was coming to an end. Did I want to buy an extended warranty? No thanks.

So then a letter arrived from a third party, who we’ll call DishyWarranties. Duly ignored, then a second arrived.

Well, this second one sparked some correspondence with Cloud as I have a policy of making sure any company I do business with do not pass on my details to anyone unless it is essential to do so in providing the service (eg Cloud had to pass on my address to the installer who turned up at my house to install the Cloud- equipment).

So DishyWarranties were not part of that circle of companies, so it got queried. Cloud denied any passing on of details, denied any possibility of a rogue employee selling data on, denied hacking as their systems were so secure and themselves suggested I contact the ICO, a threat I had already made to Cloud. Well, I was left with no option but to carry out my threat of a complaint to the ICO. My complaint was based on the fact the address label that DishyWarranties printed on the envelope they sent me had clearly showed the date I bought my equipment from Cloud. And ONLY Cloud and their authorised representatives would know that.

I made the complaint some time ago, getting a rather poor response. I never followed it up. But, today, the ICO rang me to ask if I’d make a statement against DishyWarranties as they were applying for a search warrant to raid their premises.

Too bloody right I will.

So I’m being sent a statement to return along with an evidence bag to send in the envelope for presentation to a judge.

Posted by Alder at 18 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm in the process of laying out individual archive indexes and pages ready for other content, so some pages may still be two column, some three, so there will be some inconsistency for a while between pages. At least I've now widened them all without trashing the individual pages!

Things still to do:
Colours - this blue looks like a cross between Windows 3.1 and an ice-pop.
Content - Content for the side bars to think about.
Banner - On the lookout for a half-decent banner.

Posted by Alder at 17 July 2006 | Permalink

As far as a potential new car goes I've already said the jury is out on the Nissan Note due to a lack of testing on the car seat we've bought. It's a good job we don't live in Wakefield, because there's one salesman at Harrat's who talks out of his arse.

So do most salesmen, but this one took the biscuit.

The Fat Lady hasn't seen the Note in the flesh yet, so while in Yorkshire this weekend we popped a few yards along from the hotel we stayed in to the Nissan dealer for a looksee. Inevitably we were collared by a salesman, who was obviously old-school type. Every sentence had to be finished off with "you know what I mean", which became rather irritating, if you know what I mean.

Then he went on to try the "ours is best / all others are crap" routine:
Apparently, we should have seen the 3 Micras in the other day that were all written off, even the disabled lady in one of them got out with only cuts, and all three came in to buy new Micras. Says a lot, know what I mean?

And he's had other cars that have all broken down, but his Nissans never have, know what I mean? Japanese cars are far superior, know what I mean?

So, let's try the product knowledge:
It seems so much bigger than the Beetle - "It's actually smaller chassis but bigger inside".

"So what else beyond the chassis does the Note share with the Modus?" "Nothing". "Just the chassis then?". "Not even the chassis, it's got nothing to do with the Modus, truth be known it has a Golf chassis".

Hang on - That'll be the far superior Japanese car that's built in Sunderland, on a competitor's chassis? IF it WAS a Golf chassis how could the Beetle be smaller when the Beetle was based on the then current Golf chassis? The Note and the Modus actually share chassis and engines, in part due to Renault's controlling share ownership of Nissan.

Oh, and NCAP ratings. Apparently, ALL Nissans have 4 or 5 star ratings across the board. I'll have a look at the Pathfinder with it's high bonnet and bull-bars, shall I? I seriously doubt pedestrian safety is even considered with that beast...

So that's Harrat's, Denby Dale Road, Wakefield. Know what I mean?

Pathfinder NCAP rating: Adult occupant 4*, pedestrian 2*, so fair play on that one for occupancy

Posted by Alder at 17 July 2006 | Permalink

Baby products are big business, so shouldn’t companies who sell baby products be geared up for excellent customer service in order to win repeat business? So far we can’t fault a number of stores, but then there’s others, large and small, that need to learn a thing or two about customer service.

So who are the winners and losers in our world?

As one of the winners is on the back of a loser, I’ll go for the losers first. No doubt there will be many more along the way, hence this is “Part 1”.

Boots
That monolithic chain came in pretty badly recently. As one of the UK’s leading retailers specialising in all things human you’d expect good service here, right?

They are a leading baby product manufacturer and retailer. They have pharmacists in most stores. They have advice desks in most stores. So The Fat Lady needed some insect repellent for a recent holiday, obviously needing a pregnancy-friendly product. So Boots had a product, differently packaged but essentially the same. One not to be used, the other not stating. So off we go to the advice counter. Now to be fair, the girl we spoke to didn’t know, so went to speak to the pharmacist who was dealing with another customer but was specifically asked to see us. Now, she passed us twice to go onto the shop floor, then stared serving customers who joined the queue well after us. So we walked, and got superb advice from the pharmacist in Sainsbury’s.

All the clues were there: Pregnant lady needs help. Right, so that should send out a message - bend over backwards for her, and we’ve got all her product sales for life. Well, their loss as it transpires. And the comments from Head Office were pretty poor – it’s not procedure that needs checking it’s the individual pharmacist that needs a flea in her ear.

Baby Days Direct
After some research we decided on a particular car seat for Ripley, compatible with the cars we have, nice and safe, utilising the ISOFIX fixings. Query made by phone, I asked if I could place an order, asked firmly to do it via the website. This was mid June, with one item showing as available mid-late June. Heard nothing, chased by email, ignored, fobbed off on the phone this morning with “will pass this to the office to update you”. Similar to Boots, they have a good range of baby products available. So far no feedback a month after the order was placed, so the order has been cancelled – IF they respond to the cancellation notice (credit card company contacted to stop the charge too, just in case). Again, won’t bother with them in future.

UPDATE: As I write this post I got a phone call, despatch will be today. Oh no it won’t….

And now, the winners…
Glasgow Pram Centre
Rang to check availability of the car seat, given it is a new product I do realise supplies can be restricted. Sure, in stock. Can I order? Their first question – have you tried it in your car? Well, no I haven’t, but the Maxi-Cosi website gives it the green tick for both cars. So there’s a 20% deposit, free delivery but they are holding it in store for us as we want to go and have another scout around the place. And the girl I spoke to first dealt with the whole transaction, none of that “I’ll ask the office” malarkey. Business gained on the back of Baby Days failing miserably.

Early Learning Centre
This place is just heaven. If was religious I’d be thanking God for its very existence. I haven’t found a product in there I would not buy. So we’ve bought a paddling pool for a friend’s little ‘un (we’re going to get killed for it, it’s huge…) and even though it was 10 minutes before closing on a Sunday evening the girl behind the till was as lively and friendly as someone who’s just started a shift. I’m so going to face bankruptcy because of the ELC.

Posted by Alder at 14 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

How many of the horror stories relating to childbirth are actually true? Everyone knows someone who knows someone who.... well, you know the drill.

The Fat Lady got the dates for the NHS ante-natal classes the other day, and we're [a little] worried by the anecdotal tales of early births when we look at the class dates.

The main, and repeated, story we’re worried about is the “so-and-so gave up work on Friday and gave birth on Monday”. The Fat Lady is giving up work quite late to have more time with Ripley at the other side, not that there’s any firm decision on when to go back. And it’s these that seem to be higher in numbers, ie late finishers giving birth early.

So what’s the concern? With the due date on the 30th, the class dates are the four Wednesdays before. So if Ripley’s as little as a week early a class will be missed.

The solution? As with everything consult the midwife. Liz has offered to split The Fat Lady across July’s latter half and August’s first half. So we get to be daunted with two groups rather than one, and get the classes arse about face.

The final decision rests with The Fat Lady, who will be discussing the anecdotes with the midwife. After all, Liz makes a living out of this and has been there for hundreds of births, so I’d rather listen to her and her experiences rather than the second-hand anecdotes of those who’ve had one or two.

Posted by Alder at 14 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (3)

I’m sure 100% of regular train travellers have witnessed seat rage at some point, whether in cattle class or in First Class, but tonight’s episode just made me chuckle. Not least as the rage was over where I was sitting but I had absolutely no involvement in it at all. So how did I just sit there with an argument over the seat I was in without being involved?

The argument was between a young woman who I had sat next to and an elderly man (I refrain from using the word gentleman) sat opposite, who shall hereonin be known as “Mr Grumpy”

Before I sat I asked if anyone was sat there, she said no, moved her bags, and that’s when Mr Grumpy kicked off. Thankfully as I sat down my phone rang so I just caught the main bullet points.

Apparently, when this young woman got on there were two people sat next to each other in those two seats already, but she had one of them booked, against the window. So she had said “I have a seat booked here”, and promptly both passengers moved elsewhere. Now if this were me I’d assume they were together and both moved to be next to each other. So did she, and thought nothing of it until I sat down.

Mr Grumpy started a tirade against her, saying she had said that both seats were booked and asked why she moved his friend when she was sat in the aisle seat. At this point the miscommunication became clear, and she wasn’t taking it, so tried to convey her assumption based on the fact they both moved.

Eventually it calmed down. Later, she spoke across to apologise for shouting at Mr Grumpy, who launched into round two. Seconds away…

Anyway, she took a turn, launching back at him in a firm, un-emotive, yet factual manner. Mr Grumpy said he assumed (wrongly) that one of the passengers that moved was with her, ie the one who wasn’t his pal. So she asked: If he was with me why did he move? If he was with me why was he already on-board ahead of me? If he was with me why did I say I had a seat booked rather than we have seats booked? Did you hear me say we? I said I had a seat booked, not we had seats booked.

At that point Mr Grumpy shut up, having lost completely. Both her and I found it hard to contain the laughter, but we managed.

Morales of the story: If you want to sit down on a busy train book a seat. If you want to sit with a pal book two seats. If you get asked to move out of someone’s booked seat, do so with grace. “We” does not equal “I”. And if a matter does not concern you, shut the f^ck up.

Posted by Alder at 13 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

For a first-time set of parents the ante-natal classes should be the lifeline that answers the “what are we doing” questions. Or so I think they should, sitting here not having been through them yet. What I expect and what will happen may be two different things entirely, and at least if prepared with this in mind then I guess it can’t be so bad, for either of us.

We were advised to go to the NCT classes as these were really good. So we looked them up and tried to book a place.

Now it has to be remembered here that the NCT classes differ greatly from the NHS ones. And they cost a little. But as we had been strongly advised we tried to book.

Our local branch had a series of classes starting in May and finishing mid-June. These were on a weekend, and of the four weekends we were on holiday for two and had family up for another, so not really an option. Plus it's almost 3 months until the due date. The next set – mid September. September? What? Apparently people don’t want to have classes over the summer as they’d rather be on holiday.

That’s some holiday period. So no women give birth for a whole three months? I can’t see that being the only reason. I’d be more inclined to think it’s a case of shortage of trainers during the summer as they are on holiday, rather than a lack of pregnant women.

Either way, we’ve missed the boat. September’s too late for classes as the real thing will be here. NHS only it is…

Posted by Alder at 11 July 2006 | Permalink

Name choices will stick with Junior for quite some time, hopefully beyond the 3 score year and ten marker. So I can see why there can be some degree of agony to get through when it comes to picking a name for a newborn child.

I’m going through this for the first time with The Fat Lady and would hate to think anyone with 2,3 or more have this much grief with subsequent children.

We’ve done everything to try and get inspiration. Even watching the World Cup we’ve gone through players names. Even Zinedine wasn’t 100% ruled out, well not until “that” head-butt.

We bought a name book from Borders. Biggest waste of money ever. We thought it was just that book, so we’ve been sneaking looks at others, and to be honest they’re all, well, shite. Totally cool if you are looking for some ancient Hebrew name that hasn’t been used for half a millennia, otherwise they are just going to become recycled paper.

The subject has been visited three times now, if memory serves me right. Although two of them are so close I may call it one elongated discussion.

The first was the whole “do we need to do this” denial thing. So we drew up separate shortlists and compared them. Not a massive disaster, there was some overlap, but for names we had low on our lists. So the denial returned and it was put on the back-burner.

There’s really one thing that any name has to stand up to and that’s the playground test. Thankfully I have a very good friend who still mentally live in a playground, so there’s a good tester there. One we hadn’t thought of was the accent test. We had a girl’s name just about sorted, but we were advised against due to the local accent dropping a crucial “t”. I would consider moving…

So now I’m wondering what other tests there are. Sure, there’s the surname test – will a first name flow with a surname? But that’s a given, isn’t it? All we seem to do is eliminate names, often for odd reasons – “I didn’t like a xxx at school”. AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!

I don’t know why we’re agonising so much over this. When Junior is born s/he may not look like an x but more of a y. And then they’ll grow out of it anyway, and I’ll remember the wrong decision when I go and register (on my head be it…)

For now Ripley will have to do.

Posted by Alder at 11 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

The NHS recommend that mums get ultrasound scans twice during pregnancy, around the 13 and 20 week markers. The exact dates can vary from trust to trust. The NHS like to stress these are optional and are only offered. However, I’d like to have been “offered” a 20 week scan. But our NHS trust is run by penny-pinching busybodies.

Now I always thought the problem was a Scottish one, but this was my ignorance due to only having had experience of one NHS trust north of the border. It turns out it’s a Lothian problem.

The QIS arm of the NHS recommended that the second scan be given as standard, as a vehicle to check for growth and for any abnormalities forming. That report was submitted in February 2004.

23wk PRIVATE scanThe Fat Lady was 20 weeks gestation in April 2006, some 26 months after the recommendation. But there was no 20 week scan offered. Apparently the Lothian NHS trust is “awaiting guidance from the Scottish Executive on how to proceed”. I’m no medical expert but I do know a thing or two about processes. My view may be a little simplistic, but the process exists already to book a new mum in for the booking appointment, so it should be easy enough to tag on a second appointment for 6 weeks later at the same time, or even to make another appointment at the booking appointment when that shows a more accurate set of dates. I reckon I could, without any medical knowledge whatsoever, come up with the paperwork changes in a matter of hours.

The only reason I can comprehend for the refusal to comply is hard cash. And with the new Edinburgh Royal Infirmary having been built under the Private Finance Initiative I can’t see any easy solution while they have a massive “mortgage” over their heads. Even the car park is a bone of contention…

The scan here is at 23 weeks, done privately

Posted by Alder at 09 July 2006 | Permalink

One major decision we had to make was the blood tests offered around the 15 week marker. These are to determine the risk of Downs and Edwards syndromes.

The NHS is very keen on saying these blood tests are not conclusive but only give an indication. Most literature will say that around 1 in 20 tests will come back high risk, and further tests are required. If this happens, don’t panic, it may need a scan or at worst an amniocentesis. The chances are these will come back OK, the odds are certainly in your favour. Put it this way, if it was a horse you’d be stupid not to back it.

There’s plenty of information on both conditions, what the NHS gave us was pretty good, and there’s always extra help on the web. With that, I’m not going to rewrite anything else.

What this post is for is to give one bit of advice. And that is to ask yourselves “why are we having the test?”. There is absolutely no point in having the test unless you have discussed in advance what your actions will be if the results come back with either risks or certainties.

We had the test, and the discussion before the test. We had put our theoretical Downs baby years into the future once we’d died. And that’s what helped made our decision. We couldn’t have our child institutionalised because they had nobody to reciprocate the unconditional love they had to give. You may just want to know in advance to prepare your lives for the arrival of a Downs or Edwards baby. You may just think it unfair to have a Downs or Edwards baby in today’s world, never mind 40 or 50 years from now. For me personally it was hard because it conflicts with my view on abortion. For me terminations shouldn’t be taken lightly, it shouldn’t ever be for cosmetic or contraceptive reasons, but I do recognise a place for terminations in rape cases, serious abnormalities, significant health risks to the mother or baby etc.

Discuss what you’ll do before you take the test. It was the most difficult discussion we’ve ever had, but we had the luxury of that discussion being in a time that was not emotional, it was not clouded by a devastating result. That way we knew that if we stuck to that decision our conscience would be clear in the knowledge we had made it without being under that emotional strain.

Anyway, the test result came back as a low risk, and that discussion was rendered purely academic. But I’m glad we had it before the test, I would not relish the thought of having it after getting a high risk result. And it reassured the pair of us that we were like minded, so it was a bonding moment too.

Remember, it’s not a horse, but if it was the sensible money is on "All-Clear" at 1000/1 odds-on favourite.

http://www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/ency/edwards_syndrome.jsp
http://www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/default.aspx

Posted by Alder at 09 July 2006 | Permalink

Well we're all fed up with rising energy costs, but have we actually looked at how much the rises cost when they are compounded?

It's like the good old compound interest rates, paying interest on interest. So how does a rising cost equate, exactly? What on earth am I talking about?

Sure enough my energy supplier, whom I've been with all of three weeks and hasn't even started collecting my direct debit, has whacked its prices up again. That is now 3 times in the last 8 months. This rise is 18% for gas and 21% for electricity. If I remember rightly the rise in April was a similar amount, which is why I cancelled a transfer to them back then. Fool I was thinking 2 rises 6 months apart might mean another 6 months before the next one - WRONG!

So, without getting right into the actual prices of my supplier, let's take a hypothetical scenario and price, but base it on npower's rise schedule.

Does a 20% rise followed by a 20% rise followed by a further 20% rise equate to a 60% rise? It does not, no. Remember that "interest on interest" thing when repaying a loan? The same goes here, the rise is based on the current price, not the previous price. So if a price has just gone up 20% twice, then the second rise is 20% of the original price plus 20% of the last rise. With me?

Let's start off in Ocober 2005, when fictitious "npw" energy charge 100p per unit for energy. They whack up the cost by 20%, so you're now paying 120p. That's (120-100=20)p more than you were paying for it in October before the rises. That's 20%, so far so good.

April 1st, and the joke is another 20% rise. But that's 20% of the 120p you're paying now, so the rise is 24p, now you're paying 144p. That's 44p more than in October before the rises, which is 44%. That's a new increase of 20% of the original (20p) plus 20% of the last rise (4p) when you compare to the original cost of 100p rather than the current cost of 120p.

July, and another 20% rise. that's 20% on the current price of 144p, so a 28.8p rise, new cost 172.8p. That's a massive 72.8% more than before the rises in October.

So what am I saying? What I'm saying is this*: To hide bigger rises the energy companies are giving us frequent "smaller" rises. While most people will see three successive 20% rises as 60% the true figure is 72.8%. If they stuck with an annual rise then that 72.8% rise is what they'd have to increase the initial 100p cost by to match three successive 20% rise. And for four 20% rises (which nPower customers are facing within the space of 12 months)? Is that 80%? By now you should be saying "no, it's a whopping 107.36%".

Watch out for companies doing "small" but frequent rises, it may be worse than a single larger rise.

* That so sounds like Tony Blair - apologies!

Posted by Alder at 07 July 2006 | Permalink

So what do the dads do to occupy themselves while the mums are pregnant? For me it's the "Hormonal Cry Chart".

The chart is something of an icon in our kitchen, sometimes having frequent "chalk-ups" and other times going without for quite some time.

Before I go any further the advice has to be remember that not every woman or indeed every pregnancy is the same. That will be repeated quite a bit with any entry in the dads category.

So I went and found my boundaries. I have a healthy relationship with the Fat Lady, and what I can get away with is quite comprehensive. Although I guess coming home with Katey Price would be frowned upon, more so because I'd have to be more drunk than a drunk thing from Drunksville to come home with Katey Price. And the two things I can get away with are (a) naming her The Fat Lady and (b) the creation of the "Hormonal Cry Chart".

The Fat Lady can be a bit weepy at times anyway. But certain stages of the pregnancy have brought these out more frequently. The tail end of the first trimester was a rough time, the second trimester was serious work for me (as she wouldn't cry) and now well into the third it's back to being a bit more weepy than normal.

So what counts as a "chalk-up"? All the chart is is is a gate style counter on the blackboard in the kitchen, four vertical bars scored through with a fifth diagonal bar. Any crying session brough about by conversation that sets her off is a "chalk-up", giving one bar on the chart.

And the type of conversation that gets her going?

I got my MCP certification at the end of March, about time I got some certificates. For the non-technical that's the Microsoft Certified Professional qualification.

Well, when I say qualification, I'm sceptical about the whole thing.

I managed a score of 968, whatever that means. A pass is at xxx, from xx questions that may or may not be marked. And that's all Bill's boys say. Questions may be added to the test for the purpose of gathering statistics but may not count towards your final score, which is OK if you got it wrong but a waste if you got it right.

So there's nothing in the exam which says how the scores are calculated, what the maximum score is, what each question is worth, whether all questions are equal in value. A stark contrast from school & university exam questions.

So xx questions in, 50 minutes from a maximum of 165 minutes, and I leave the exam. A score of 968 out of some unknown number meant nothing to me. But I'd passed, and that's all that matters.

So why the scepticism? I swotted up on some elements of Xp that I'd never touched before, namely VPN settings for one. Sure enough I was asked a couple of questions on VPN, which I guess I got right, but I still haven't ever touched a VPN setting in my puff.

But as long as I can still show an ability to learn I'll be happy to shove it on the CV.

Oh, that welcome kit. Apologies for digressing into the exam itself. As a newly qualified MCP I was entitled to get a welcome kit. And the contents were:

What a let-down. Now if there was a free MSDN subscription for the first year after qualification that would be worth having...

[2006-07-11] Editing the scores out so as not to fall foul of the non-disclosure agreement you have to sign in blood before taking the test

Posted by Alder at 07 July 2006 | Permalink

Before I started this test blog ( I call it test 'cos I don't know if it will live and breath in the real world just yet) I hadn't even looked at a Cascading Stylesheet before. With Richard giving me some encouragement to get on with it I've looked at how MT hangs together, and with the changes I've made so far it's been a bit of a steep learning curve.

I don't like text editors, especially when I don't know the lingo. But, with some references back to some entries that are easy to work out, a little trial and error, and some web searches I'm slowly getting there.

A number of sites have been useful in their own realm, but the one I get most help from, both in terms of (a) how things work and (b) hints and tips is www.learningmovabletype.com. And I've seen a few MT tags that could be used, even if just to play with to see if they'd be useful or not.

HTML is another one, I like the old-fashioned WYSIWYG methods like Frontpage and HoTMetal. But, I've seen some tools for verification of CSS and HTML, so I'll give some of these a try.

I'm trying to learn something new to me here. Surely it can't be as bad as being a new parent, can it?

Right, my problems so far:
Column widths. I couldn't get any column to change width until I spotted two entries for the column widths in the default MT stylesheet. You guessed it, I was changing the first one I found, not knowing there was a second further down overwriting the first. Once I found the second itwas so frustrating to learn it wasn't anything I was or wasn't doing but purely down to duplicate entries on the provided sheets.

Column widths (2). Try as I might I can't get that middle column to change width at all. Maybe there's something else I haven't yet spotted, but I will find it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

Column widths (3). Spotted a pattern here yet? With two days of messing about with dynamic and static column widths I'm not exactly sure if this is a non-issue or not. Frankly I've lost the will to live. But I did try and set columns at 180 / 400 / 180 pixels wide, which by my reckoning is 760 pixels. So why my 760px banner went well wide of the main body is beyond me, reducing it to 730 pixels matched perfectly. Even with the 5px border on each side (total 10) 730+10=740, not 760. Better check I'm not using an early Pentium-60.

For now the standard style stays with a few tweaks being added now and again.

Posted by Alder at 07 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Yesterday I had my first chest-puffing experience as a protective dad.

Just to set the background, The Fat Lady is still travelling First Class on the train, whereas I'm not sure of my base yet, so I'm slumming it. Last night on the way home The Fat Lady decided to keep me company in the ghetto, considering Virgin Trains have no real First Class service. So, there we are at the platform 20 minutes before departure, with the train in at the platform and the doors locked awaiting crew.

Well, we were first to the end door. Then along comes "Mr Wannbe Trendy" with his rolling suitcase shortly after us. And he stands right there in front of us, and proceeds to constantly look up and down the train for any sign of the doors opening. By this time a queue (amazingly it wasn't a scrum) starts to form. So after we'd been there for around 15 minutes the doors unlock, and "Mr Wannabe Trendy" charges for the door.

I cut around him, blocking his path with my left arm.

"Excuse me, but the pregnant lady who was here before you will be getting on the train before you."

"I don't have a problem with that, I've just got a bag to get on."

And that's where the conversation ended. Not like a bag is a major problem these days so his excuse was pathetic.

Anyway, what made my day was the lady who sat in front of us turning round and saying "well done" to me as she sat down. The Fat Lady, on the other hand, was mortally embarrased.

Tough crap - I was brought up with manners. And so will Junior. Shame "Mr Wannabe Trendy" wasn't.

Posted by Alder at 06 July 2006 | Permalink | Comments (5)