Hormonal Cry Chart
So what do the dads do to occupy themselves while the mums are pregnant? For me it's the "Hormonal Cry Chart".
The chart is something of an icon in our kitchen, sometimes having frequent "chalk-ups" and other times going without for quite some time.
Before I go any further the advice has to be remember that not every woman or indeed every pregnancy is the same. That will be repeated quite a bit with any entry in the dads category.
So I went and found my boundaries. I have a healthy relationship with the Fat Lady, and what I can get away with is quite comprehensive. Although I guess coming home with Katey Price would be frowned upon, more so because I'd have to be more drunk than a drunk thing from Drunksville to come home with Katey Price. And the two things I can get away with are (a) naming her The Fat Lady and (b) the creation of the "Hormonal Cry Chart".
The Fat Lady can be a bit weepy at times anyway. But certain stages of the pregnancy have brought these out more frequently. The tail end of the first trimester was a rough time, the second trimester was serious work for me (as she wouldn't cry) and now well into the third it's back to being a bit more weepy than normal.
So what counts as a "chalk-up"? All the chart is is is a gate style counter on the blackboard in the kitchen, four vertical bars scored through with a fifth diagonal bar. Any crying session brough about by conversation that sets her off is a "chalk-up", giving one bar on the chart.
And the type of conversation that gets her going?
* Fans of Futurama may recall Fry's dog's DNA turning up and Fry refusing to have him cloned as he lived for longer without him with a new family, when in reality the dog grew old waiting outside the pizza place for Fry to come home, a modern Greyfriar's Bobby story
** Or SSPCA, can't remember if it was Scotland or not. But this one created a bar at double width as this wasn't a crying session but a sobbing session.
We have developed rules on what can count:
So there we have it, the "Hormonal Cry Chart". Future options are also to record the volume level of the crying, whether dad got hit, time started, duration etc. The graphing capabilities with this sort of meta-data are endless.
Disclaimer: If you try a HCC with your partner just heed that warning above. I'll take no responsibility for kitchen knives being used to remove various body parts.
Comments
We've been together for almost 15 years and its taken a 'blog' to get an admission that our relationship is healthy and that I let him get away with quite a lot!! This fatherhood lark is making him soft!!
Posted by: Deborah | July 7, 2006 9:02 PM
Wish I'd never written "what I can get away with is quite comprehensive" now, that'll haunt me forever.
Posted by: Lee | July 7, 2006 9:38 PM