What's the sex?
We haven't been asked this for a while now, thankfully, but it was clearly one of those life events that everyone needs to know.
Now that Richard and Zoe are getting hitched, they'll be getting those questions. Well, not that particular question, as it's not a shotgun job. Theirs will be "when, where, can Auntie Mable's pet dog's breeder sit with her at the reception". They have my sympathy.
I thought I'd covered this topic in the 20 week scan post, but hadn't.
So, to recap:
NHS Lothian don't provide a 20 week scan to check on well-being.
We had a private scan done at 23 weeks in place of the NHS one.
When we arrived we were a little early, so waited with a cup of coffee. The appointment ahead of us came in after us, and with a cast of thousands went in for their scan. From what I could work out it was mum-to-be, granny-to-be, dad-to-be and unknown random bloke. Current boyfriend? Brother? Both? Hey, I don't judge...
The difference was they were paying for a couple of minutes of time just to find out what the sex of the baby was. We, on the other hand, were paying considerably more just for a much longer viewing time. No sexing for us.
Sexing was an option with our "package", only we chose not to find out. We had discussed this at short length, and it was one of those moments we realised we were both on the same page. Our decision was based solely on the fact there are few surprises in life, and in the heat of the moment for someone to say "congratulations, it's a ...." is one of the happy ones left. So, selfishly, that's what we went for. We wanted that moment, rather than some machine-assisted situation - "well, it's, ermm I can't quite see, oh there's something, yes it's a...". Nope, immediate certainty, please.
So, back in the scan, the sonographer asked if we wanted to know, and as a result of the negative reply kept away from "the business end". She did need to go down there, so got us to close our eyes and stopped the recording until she was away again. It was kind of strange knowing, and it still is, that there is one person out there who we don't know, but who can tell us what we're having. It doesn't bother me at all, I'm just looking forward 4 weeks from now to that "congratulations, it's a...." moment.
Family may want to know "to buy the right colours". Thankfully, ours were right behind us. And if they hadn't been, then tough. It's not about the right colours, or letting great Auntie Mable's pet dog's breeder knowing, it's about the parents and the baby, nobody else. So that question that everyone asks, "do you know what you're having?" - yes, I do, it's a baby. Now piss off and don't ask stupid questions again.
It's not all nicey-nicey though, and our decision may not be right for everyone. That girl who was in before us, for all we know, might not be checking for what colours to buy. There may be conditions that run in the family and you need to know, to prepare yourselves for the possibility. Or maybe you just can't wait and need to fill your boots. In that case do what's right, right for the parents and the baby - everyone else can wait.
It seems so long ago, almost 3 months now. Yet it is as right now as it was then, and that anticipation is building as we struggle all the more with [2 sets of] names.
Comments
I did not have the luxury of a scan when you were born but I would not have wanted to know either. I was convinced you were a girl so it was a nice surprise when you turned out to be a BOY. That is the ultimate joy at the end of the labour. ENJOY
Posted by: Doris | August 3, 2006 5:48 PM
And as sod's law dictates, after months without being asked, we were last night!
Posted by: Lee ? | August 5, 2006 5:06 PM