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When you are: November 2006

30 November 2006

Baby's first...stone

Most folk do this the opposite way at WeightWatchers® but for any parent it's a milestone and a half.

The first stone...

That's not the first time some angry bloke comes round whining about a pane of glass or a dent on his car's bonnet, but crossing the 14lb marker. New money aside, that's about the weight Geoff Capes was was he was born.

All I can say is, thank f**k I wasn't his mother!

14 weeks, 14lbs. Make sure Saturday night's lottery numbers have a 14 in there somewhere.

08 November 2006

Baby's first...million

Junior’s well on his way to his first million. At only 11 weeks old I can’t believe just how much cash he’s got. And of course it’s being well looked after. Well, some of it is.

First account opened was a Rainbow Saver account with RBS to hold the cash he got with his new baby cards.

Nationwide’s Smart account offers up a higher interest rate, the service was superb (even down to getting into the branch before opening, out of the cold rain with a cuppa), so his next account was opened there. Spreading the risk already…

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Money from England
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Money from Scotland
What about the Child Trust Fund? Oh dear, dilemmas. Cash or Stakeholder? We haven’t seen a stakeholder that tells us what we need to know yet – what are the performance figures since they started, taking into account the maximum 1.5% charge (that every provider seems to charge, haven’t seen one lower than maximum). Sure, they are quite good at showing stock market figures for the last 18 years, but no accounting for the annual 1.5% drop. Even some of the major players say “invested in the stock market” and don’t elaborate. Is that the FTSE 100? FTSE 250? All in George Wimpey plc shares?

I’m not keen on the FTSE 100, there are too many movers for my liking. For example, a company drops out, a 100 fund has to sell its shares. Inevitably at the lower price now they’ve dropped out. A company comes up, a fund has to buy shares in them, inevitably at the higher price now the company has moved up. Seems wrong to me, selling low and buying high, it just means the rest of the 100 has to perform well enough to cover these transactions. To me, buying low and selling high makes better sense, but what do I know.

With the markets currently running high I’m scared of a stakeholder CTF, mainly because his £250 voucher from Gordon Brown wouldn’t buy many units. I’m waiting for the inevitable downturn, then I’ll buy. But what to do in the meantime? Well, thankfully, you can open one type of CTF and then change it, so it’s a no-brainer. Cash for now, then when the FTSE drops it’ll go into a Nationwide stakeholder. Why Nationwide? They’ve got the clearest literature on who they invest in and what past performance has been.

And if he wins the Christmas Premium Bonds super draw then I’m sure that Ferrari F340 daddy has his eye on will turn out to be a good investment.

And the final tip we read in a parenting magazine, submitted by a reader. Child Benefit is currently around £17.50 per week for a first child, add this to the trust fund and even if there’s nothing else added there’s over £16,000. Of course, it goes up a little each year, add interest annually, and you could be looking at over £20,000. 20 grand at 18, the parties are endless!

01 November 2006

Baby's first...Hallowe'en

November 1st is All Saints Day. Just like April 23rd is St George's, March 1st for St David's, November 30th for St Andrew's, and just to keep the Irish happy, March 17th for Paddy's. So what was the significance of and "All Saints" day? Well, it was a Church attempt to control the masses, to convert them form their Celtic past, to make them "turn" to Christ. Just like Christmas then.

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Batfink
Back in the good old days when Celts were Celts and Snickers were Marathons, we had new year on November 1st. And just like any New Year, there's a celebration to see out the old and bring in the new. And that was the festival of Samhain, meaning end of summer. To this day the pagan festival still exists, but now, like then, it varies, depending on the position of the moon.

When the Church stuck its oar in and wanted a slice of the congregation they came up with All Saints day, otherwise known as All Hallows. And as the night before was All Hallows Eve, Hallowe'en came about. There's extra stuff about the original festival having the dead wandering, leaving offerings etc, but I can't be bothered typing any more.

What a load of old codswhallop. Hallowe'en was invented jointly by Tesco and Wal-Mart to sell sweets and costumes. And over the last few years here in the UK we seem to be going the way of our American cousins who seem to have been at it for ages.

Junior had a present sent up from deepest South Yorkshire in the form of a bat suit and a "trick or treat" bib. The suit was a hit, the hat part was a miss (he hates hats in general) and the bib just looked so cute. The mums of the kids knocking on the door were all cooing (so if there's a baby boom around here in 9 months time we know who to blame). MOTS was not best pleased when it came to bedtime that she hadn't managed to get a photo of the bat suit with the hat (and therefore ears) on Junior without him crying, and was once again weepy when I duly presented one that fit the bill. I'd managed to get a sneaky one while she went out for an hour. Where's the HRC when you need it?

Junior's first "guising" as it's known in these parts. What, a third Hallowe'en story? Why "guising"? Because you go round in disguise, d'uh.

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