Baby's first...Solids
There could only be two topics of conversation when the word “solids” is involved, and both are at opposite ends of the digestive system. Tonight’s topic is, thankfully, entry-level.
Gruel for beginnersBaby Rice. To look at it doesn’t resemble either. Certainly doesn’t taste like either. So what the hell is it? It looks like some sort of crystal meths before it’s made up with baby’s regular milk and is about the least appetising pile of slop I’ve ever seen. I’d go back to 1979 and have my old school’s semolina pudding with a blob of jam all over again rather than eat that mush. So it does me no good to know that Junior has had his first “solids” this evening, given what he’s eaten, only because never in a million years would I (a) classify that as food or (b) eat it myself.
Wednesday’s a bit better – a cube of real food on the menu! Until then it's like a scene from Oliver Twist - gruel, gruel and more gruel.
So how did it go? It was like preparing for a major play, sterilising the bowl and a spoon, as well as the usual bottle, checking the lighting, the camera angles, I'd even gone to the trouble of bringing in ushers and had ice-cream on standby. Unfortunately the audience was via live t'internet link-up, so I couldn't really charge admission or extra for premium seating. We'd had a full dress rehearsal at the weekend and for fear of him being carted off by social services I can't say exactly what he doesn't dislike, but **hic** Daddy loves it too, 'cos it's my bestest mate evver, **hic**.
Break a leg? He nearly did, having wedged it between two bars of his cot when he went down for a post-solids powernap. That boy...
