Alder's Tone

It's a constant process of handing over the plastic, punching in the four digits, and waiting for the bill to arrive. I've become so uninterested in even seeing the bill I have set it up to leave by direct debit. The big things make a huge impact for a short time, but the little things just keep on coming.

There's been no counting of the expense of having Junior, because the return on investment has been fantastic. But looking at it pragmatically I realise I worry about spending in the wrong areas.

How?

Well, another major milestone last week with the arrival of the new car seat. Forward-facing, no less. Is that one of the items in the morphing process that takes place between baby and toddler? If it it then God help us, we're morphing. With the arrival of the car seat brought about new accessories. What? Well, you don't buy a new dress and not get a new handbag do you? What the f**k?? The hanging Pooh bar that Daddy bought the day Junior came home from hospital only suits a rear-facing car seat with a carrying handle. he new seat doesn't, and hasn't. So that's a new toy needed, one that hangs from the back of the front seat that he can play with whilst seated.

£200 for a new seat and we need a new toy to go with it? OK, that one I can see.

What I can't see is the constant shelling out for nappies and food, although he's not on jars (only on home-made solids) so there's a blessing. The rear-facing car seat has cost just shy of £20/month and will be retired. And that is very "ouch". But in the blink of an eye there's probably that in nappies (and accessories) and food (and accessories). So why did I baulk at £200 for a new car seat that should last almost 3 years?

Posted by Alder at 31 May 2007 | Permalink

What exactly counts as a first step? I have no idea. Is it when one foot goes in front of the other, regardless of external help? Or is it when unaided by parents but steadied by a walker? Or when there's NOTHING else to hang onto? Or when the steps are made after getting off the floor without help too? Too many options.

Help.......!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!????!?!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

We're past the one foot in front of the other stage while holding on to parental fingers. I'll just keep up to date and hopefully declare a "first step" only when we see fit.

Posted by Alder at 29 May 2007 | Permalink

Monday 21st May saw Junior's first day in nursery. With MOTS' return to work imminent there's some time between the start of nursery and the return to work, just to help the transition.

The first morning was a "getting to know you" type affair, with MOTS there for some of the 3 hours, away, back to pop the head in briefly, and returning later to pick up Junior later. As the session started at 09:00 I expected a call shortly after 09:30.

I forgot to run a book on when the whailing would start. But had I, the money would have been between the two sets of doors at the main entrance, on her way out. I had expected that. It was almost certainty. I would have sold my mother to cover the stake on that bet.

09:38 - Whaa, whaa, sob sob, whaaa sob I'm sob sob, haa-haaa-haaaa-hhaving a sob sob coff-sob-sob-ee. In English, please? Needless to say MOTS wasn't too great at leaving him. OK, important things - where did you start crying? When I put him on the floor in the baby room.

DAMN! Bet lost, my mother's future uncertain. Hang on, I forgot to run the book, so saved from a life of debt. Pheww....

After some recomposition work MOTS popped her head back in around 11 to find Junior fast asleep and unaware of her visit. Collection at 12 and all was well.

Day 2 in the big baby hoose. A 9-to-5 day today. No tears. Great mood. Great mood being Junior's report card for the day that is, not a great mood for MOTS. And the verbal comment? The nursery wishes they could have 12 like him. Guess it went well, then.

Day 3 in the big baby hoose. As we've gone from Tuesday to Tuesday without being in I half expected MOTS to regress a little. But no, she was fine. Probably because Junior was trying to get away to the other kids before his jacket was off, and on collection he was causing a girl to cry because he was leaving. Awwwww, sweet.

So from my perspective how has it been? Last week was strange, not knowing who was looking after my son. I knew where he was, but not who he was with. And that wasn't the greatest feeling I've ever had, but I know MOTS had at least met them so I had to take that leap of faith. Sometime soon I will get to know the staff, with drop-offs and collections coming up once MOTS is actually back at work. Until then I just have to keep busy and not think about it.

Posted by Alder at 29 May 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2)

So why isnae safety us? Well, on a visit to Toys R Us today an accident happened. And it was their reaction to it that I couldn't get over. Safety is not allowed, apparently. They are not allowed to buy safe equipment because head office say so. That's the honest truth what I was told when I reported an accident. So here's the letter to head office.

Today I visited the Toys R Us store at Fort Kinnaird retail park, Edinburgh, with my son of 8 months and his parental grandmother. The events that followed soon escalated a minor complaint into a major concern.

On the shop floor (last aisle of the store, in front of the pre-school Fisher Price and Bruin branded toys) a member of staff was seeking passage through to the store front pulling a trolley. On this trolley stood, on its end and standing approximately 7 feet high, a child’s slide, both metal frame and plastic slide. On negotiating passage through the customers the slide toppled and fell. Despite the best efforts of his grandmother to stop the slide falling, my son was struck in the face by the falling slide.

I immediately challenged “Andy D.” for not having the slide tethered to the frame of the trolley (which had high handles at either end but no sides). He said “we don’t have any” and after a short retort from me suggesting he should go and get some he carried on to the shop front with his unstable load. "Andy D." apologised for the accident.

My son was unhurt, apart from a small scratch near his left eye. The incident was reported to customer services and an accident report lodged. My report was to be a minor suggestion about work practice. What I was told shocked me to the very core.

“We are not allowed to buy tethers”. “We have no budget to buy stuff like that”. “Head office make the rules”. “You probably think this is a poor excuse”. Only one of those quotes I totally agree with. I was at a loss to hear that the store has no budget to buy safety equipment. Even after being challenged about the safety of his actions a member of staff continued to carry goods in unsafe manner. “Andy D.” struggled getting through the till area, with the slide almost toppling a second time, AFTER being challenged, AFTER being told to get a tether, AFTER my son was struck.

I consider my son lucky, had his pushchair not taken the main impact of the slide as it fell his injury could have been much worse.

We all make mistakes, it’s how we deal with them that matters. In this incident it was the failure of “Andy D.” to seek help after an incident, and the pathetic excuses offered by customer services and a total reluctance to take any responsibility that suggest Toys R Us need to look at safe working practices and increase the priority given to safety.

For the sake of a few pounds for a tether strap for each trolley this is wholly unforgivable. What started as a minor incident has uncovered a wholesale disregard for safety, which I will not let lie.

I would like your views on whether this is a reportable accident under The Reporting of injuries, Diseases and Dangerous Occurrences Regulations 1995, and I will verify them with the Health and Safety Executive.

Time of accident: ~ 12:10 Saturday 19 May 2007.

Posted by Alder at 19 May 2007 | Permalink | Comments (3)

I'm bordering absessive on dates, half-way markers, % until x sort of thing. which is why, when MOTS truned 27, I gave her constant abuse for being 90% of the way to 30.

So, today marks a major milestone for Junior. The time since his birth is equalled by the time before his birth. He's been with us equally inside and outside the womb, making his date of birth the mid-point of his life.

Posted by Alder at 10 May 2007 | Permalink | Comments (5)

A truly mixed bag of things going on this Bank Holiday Weekend. All ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, monumentous occassions, and complete and utter disasters. And three awards coming out of it, too. One of the awards has been specially commisssioned and makes its debut.

And like an Oscar acceptance speech, this is a long one...

Cheese, Gromit...I'll start off with the title, and why it's "Grand Day Out". We had a trip to York scheduled for Saturday (the day after Star Wars day - May the Fourth be with you). We were making the trip by train, so had to think about what we took, and make sure we took enough to last us the day but not too much so as have to carry it round with us.

Thankfully, life is so much easier with the Silver Cross POP, so getting on and off the train and stowage is a non-issue. Mind you, it may have been had we travelled in standard class, it was rammed, but we were "up front" and had plenty of room.

So the day starts off getting the train. No dramas whatsoever, not even for Junior having his feed on the train. He was so well behaved it was unreal, all the way down. Just about the time he should have been looking across the Thirsk valley at the white horse he was sleeping, so missed both that and crossing the border into God's own county.

En-route I ventured into the spacebog to change his nappy. And that was mistake number one. GNER have recently spent a fortune on refurbishing their electric 225 fleet, completely new interiors, wi-fi access and such. Two design flaws though.

1. Smoking accommodation created, yet smoking banned shortly after (foresight, not)
2. Baby changing facilities

So what did I find wrong? It's the first time I've changed a nappy on a train, and was far from impressed. The toilet I used was, as described above, a spacebog. A multi-purpose disabled access-come-baby changing room. Only it doesn't work for the latter.

The table is folded out from the wall, short end against the wall leaving the thing pointing out into the middle of the room. It's flat, with no restraints, and only a small ridge of an inch or so running part way down either side to stop Junior rolling over either of the sides. There's nowhere to stick the changing bag, so this was perched on the sink edge, which is in a recess under the mirror. So, back to junior, starting to undress him. Turned to the bag to see it filling with water. The taps are automatic, detect the presence of the hand, or in this case a bag full of dry nappies, and starts to pour. All the disposable bibs we'd got from the Baby Show last week - soaked. 3 nappies - wet. Bag bottom - soaked. While trying to stop Junior rolling around, I had to empty the bag and pour the water out onto the floor (lino floor, drain in one corner, and plenty of towels for me to mop up too). The only saving grace was the nappies were only wet on the outer, the insides were fine so they'd dry out. The bibs were binned.

GNER are winners of the brand new "Gateshead Carpark Award for Bad Design". It could be better, there's a huge space for turning wheelchairs with plenty of unused wall space that could house a folding table for baby AND for bags. But oh, no, the thing had to be designed by someone who has never change a nappy in their puff, never mind on a train.

As we got off the train, a number of spotters were on the platform. We waited, and were rewarded with the sight of the "Duchess of Sutherland" hauling a charter service to Scarborough.

Major part of the day coming up. I can't describe just how close I was to going over the edge on this one. It was so special. It was emotional. It was Junior's first touch of Yorkshire soil. After finding the perfect patch, in the gardens at the side of the Minster, off came the socks and with a blaze of hallelujahs did those feet walk in the valley of righteousness. As those tiny bare feet touched the land of his father for the first time the spot had to be right. To capture the moment properly it had to be unmistakably Yorkshire. A photo with just him and grass could have been anywhere, but the Minster is just the ultimate accolade to Yorkshire. That’ll do then.

Lunch. MOTS fancied a pizza, so was torn between Pizza Express and Zizzi. Zizzi won the day, being a bit more open, less crammed in, and quite child-friendly. We were offered help up the few steps in, offered and brought a high chair (from the big stack of high chairs), and general made to feel welcome as a family. It was not all it seemed, however.

We ordered drinks, and a ciabatta while we waited for the mains. We had timed it just right, as our mains were coming out Junior was getting hungry. So in this child-friendly restaurant I asked for his frozen home-made veggies to go in the microwave for 1 minute. And then it kicked off. Company policy, no way. “Contamination” being the excuse. Worried, of course, about being sued, and openly admitted that. After returning to the table and discussing with MOTS, I returned to the manager who greeted me rather, shall we say unfriendly - “Do you have a problem with what I’ve just said”. Well actually, yes. Here’s my name and address, if you want to follow up and chase me for the money please do so. After a brief discussion about if it wasn’t safe to zap Junior’s food how could I be certain it was OK for mine, etc etc, we left, with only a few mouthfuls of lunch eaten.

The best of it? The bowl Junior’s food was in had a water-tight lid. And the manager tried to say he had a family to look after and didn’t want the sack. And that I wouldn’t find a restaurant in York that would microwave the food. I saw that as a challenge to prove that the whole city wasn't unhelpful in their attitudes towards feeding babies. So we set off to see if the Yorkshire spirit was still out there.

Orgasmic, overlooking the Ouse, is a café-bar that we have been in many a time before on visits to York. We headed in there, still quite amazed at Zizzi’s false show at being child-friendly. The first member of staff we saw was hit with the question “will you nuke baby food”. And the response? “If you are happy for us to do that, then we’re more than happy to do it for you”. With that, MOTS was almost euphoric. The member of staff in question was amazed at Zizzi’s response. We ended up with pizza (second order of the day), a couple of drinks each, excellent service, and that boy of ours getting smiles and funny faces from the wonderful waitress who’d saved our day every time she passed. After lunch Junior was getting tired, and with the hustle and bustle inside we moved outside, looking out over the river (it was quiet at the time but got busier later when the sun came out). It's a perfect location. If memory servers me right, it was in Orgasmic a while back that we picked up a card for pole dancing lessons...

In comparison the rest of the afternoon was uneventful. On the return journey home I had to do another nappy run. And GNER win the second “Gateshead Carpark Award”. Two in one day, well done! We were on a HST (aka Intercity 125 High Speed Train, the 30-odd year old diesel boneshakers) on the way home, so small toilet spaces. But the changing station was much better, bigger surface, in the corner, and a single strap for restraint. It folded down from the wall to an approximate angle of “far from flat”. Why? As it folded down it got caught on the toilet roll dispenser which had been attached to the wall just a few centimetres too high. The toilet in the next vestibule was fine, however.

The awards winners are:
GNER - The Gateshead Carpark Award for Bad Design. Twice
Zizzi - The Shitty Nappy Award for being child-friendly but not
Orgasmic - The Silver Rattle for saving the day, and for making the challenge set by the manager at Zizzi so easy

Posted by Alder at 06 May 2007 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Teeth are like buses. You wait ages and ages for one and then two come along at once.

Number two through today.

Posted by Alder at 04 May 2007 | Permalink

It's been while coming, given the date of the first post on the warning signs of the first tooth, but it's finally here.

So what has the journey been like so far?

They're here....Well, looking back at the previous post on the subject, it has been a long and drawn out process. 6 months of signs, the bulk of those 6 months were rather uneventful in the teething respect.

Bumps and ridges have formed over time, nothing quick, just slow growth. Until this last couple of weeks, which have given us rather dramatic and rapid change.

I would have put good money on one of the top teeth coming out first. Last weekend there was a marked change in the appearance of his top gum. No longer was it a little rise, but two super-stretched pieces of plastic looking blistered bits of gum. But, this weekend the rank outsider, just like at the final turn at the Grand National, came from out of nowhere and made a race of it, taking it all the way to the photo finish. There was HUGE change in the bottom gum over the last 2 days. Two days.

MOTS had a false alarm earlier this week gievn the rapid change. But there was no mistaking this morning's appearance from the bottom gum, a shiny white enamel tooth. His bottom middle left tooth is out, showing off to the world. And it looks like the next three will be close behind.

GnashersIt's not the only development we've seen this last 10 days or so. Far from it.

• Mobility
No longer do we get the odd roll here and there, sometime a double-roll. Oh no, now it's the crocodile death roll. When added to the new-found ability to push backwards, get up onto knees (albeit with face buried in the carpet) any form of movement is just about possible.
• Dexterity
He's not getting any Mr Men stories just lately. I have tried to pick them back up again this week, but he just wants to play with the book and won't let me read it. The process is the same, hold in right hand, grab with left hand, let go with right hand, turn through 180 degrees (top away from, bottom towards himself), grab with right hand, and repeat. And repeat, until daddy starts to think he'll be cack-handed like his mother.
• Awareness
He's much more aware of objects around him, and they if they are not bolted down then they are fair game for grabbing. Oh dear lord, it's started... The magic eye for the Sky box is the new favourite toy.
• Posture
While playing with some blocks the other day, I gave Junior at shot with them too. The session we had together was really good, with him sat on the rug. He was really stretching out for the blocks in all directions, and not toppling over. This 15-20 minutes we had is the longest he's gone without toppling, and given the amount of stretching and the multi-directional stretching he was doing I was quite impressed.
• Speech
I was most pleased with speech, and the number of words that are almost legible. After a heavy night on the beer after work last Friday I managed to order my steak pie supper at the chippy on the way home without any issues. Fantastic!

This last 10 days or so has been the biggest change I've seen to date, and not just because of that little tooth. But, it can't all be good, can it?

... he's really going to stay a happy and content baby and that he's going to be the freak that pops his gums overnight with the blink of an eye.

I could, of course, win the lottery this weekend.

That's what I wrote last time about his teething. Well, I can safely say that one out of two aint bad. Sadly, I'm not typing this from a yacht in Marbella, so it's a fair guess that I didn't win the lottery, and that it wasn't really a rough ride cutting the first tooth. He has been a little off his food, not wanting all his bottle, not wanting his supper at all, but not all the time. Disturbed sleep, turning in his sleep, all new things to us all. But, there's not been a great amount of disturbance through the night, usually just a single cry. One night last weekend though, MOTS was up 4 times, the first times in months. And she's been a star taking the nightshifts again as she gets the chance to catch some more zeds after his breakfast (he goes back to bed after breakfast, lucky git).

We have been, and clearly continue to be, so lucky with him.

Posted by Alder at 03 May 2007 | Permalink

Last year, with MOTS only a couple of months pregnant, we went to Glasgow's SECC to The Baby Show. This year, with junior around 8 months old and MOTS most certainly not pregnant, we went through again.

And what a difference.

It was amazing to see so many of us last year this year. By that totally unreadable sentence I mean this year we saw so many couples who clearly resembled what we must have looked like last year. They were easily spotted, ranging from the startled rabbit to the I'd rather watch a horror film types.

Startled rabbits, wise owls
The stuff there was really different, too. There's the usual dross, the expensive photographers who promise everlasting oh-so-kitsch images. There's the innovative "must have to make your life easier" products, the ones why you wonder why they are there given you buy the stuff regardless.

So, what was hot and what was not?

This year it was all "personalised CDs" and stitched blankets. Pick a song list, burn a CD and we'll print a label with the kid's name on it. Or stick the kid's name on a blanket.

The innovative, which we got caught by twice. One was the travel high chair - we already had one, and we amazed the seller as MOTS was the first person she didn't personally know who had one. Sadly, junior didn't get a call-up for a photo-shoot to be the face on their new ads. The other was the cuddly dry robe. Junior has outgrown his hooded towels, this is the big daddy of them all, all natural fibres (bamboo) and really nice.

The fashions, which weren't really for MOTS (not pregnant) or Junior (seen his wardrobe?).

The preying on paranoid parents. Do you really need a camera monitor, hooked permanently into your TV set?

We did get a playmat we saw last year. That was about the only given.

The absent - no Simply wipes or Sudocrem on show, no freebies in that department. Somewhat of a shame, the free samples of Sudocrem come in perfectly small tubs to be ultra portable for those days out.

The booming. Babybond were there last year, we'd found them before the show, but saw them there anyway. They had a 3x1m stand last year. This year, a much bigger stand, with a scanning machine on site and appointments through the day there and then, making an absolute killing.

Last year we were the startled rabbits. Everything was either "we could do with that" or "that's a great idea" or "we need to think about that". This year we still had all of those, but also mixed in with "waste of time", "ripoff" and "that's for what, exactly?".

So what was the biggest difference between the two shows we'd been to?

Us. And our different eyes. It's amazing just what a little experience can do to influence your outlook.

Posted by Alder at 02 May 2007 | Permalink