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When you are: January 2009

17 January 2009

X-Ray vision? Nah, Zurg Vision

I was starting to wonder this evening if the boy had X-ray vision. Since we got the new fridge we've been really careful to make sure we always put the child lock on after getting water or ice, and when it's tea-time we stand between him and the machine so he can't see what's happening.

So when he got a glass, shouted "water" and pressed both levers with it, realised nothing was coming out, and started pressing buttons to unlock the child lock I started to think he could see through me.

"You make a better door then a window"
A phrase I used to hear often when I found myself stood in the line of sight of my mother and the latest episode of Emmerdale Farm (as it was then). Or other phrases too dodgy to publish on the internet. No matter when there's x-ray vision on the go.

Or could there be an alternate explanation????

Buzz is his favourite pal at the moment. Somewhere slightly ahead of Sully, way ahead of Wallace, and a gazillion miles ahead of Daddy. As there's no such thing as a gazillion you can ignore that last bit. Unless any retired maths teachers out there want to correct me, that is.

The opening sequence of Toy Story 2 stars Buzz trying to infiltrate Zurg's lair in a quest to find the source of Zurg's power. And this scene is well known by our little observer.

In a tunnel, Buzz is chased by a spiked wall. Just before the spikes start, we watch the tag race between sofas as the wee fella imitates what is about to happen. Then the spiked wall starts to chase buzz, and we see a jump - again, just before Buzz jumps through the closing door at the end.

The floating discs bridge. As Buzz approaches: Jump, jump, jump, jump-jump. Closely followed by Buzz doing the same. And so it goes, "uh-oh" just before Buzz falls as the bridge collapses, right arm up just before Buzz switches on the anti-gravity belt yelling "To infinity, and beyond" with his left arm out - AH-HA! - Got you, wrong arm!!!

And thus, the boy does NOT know the entire scene at all. Only 99% of it!

Observant? Learns? Remembers? Not at all....

Actually, that reminds me of my GCSE maths teacher spending 3 nights with her husband going through my mock GCSE paper looking for a mistake because she refused to give me 100% - she found one, right enough... 99%

And if you are wondering what Zurg vision is, I suggest you watch the film!

13 January 2009

Happy New Mid January!

It's belated but here's wishing you a happy second half of January!

The start of the year was a little slow, but also busy, and a bit of a non-event for us all.

With my suspected glandular fever finally easing at Christmas, MOTS and the boy got colds that pogressed quite badly into an increasingly annoying cough for MOTS. The boy soon got over his though, and I picked it up from him just in time to get back to work on the 2nd. Thanks, son!

And then the real fun begins. With a slow re-introduction to work after the break (the sarcasm there has to be pointed out) there's little energy left at the end of the day or week. Which causes conflict when you have no fridge, have to work around it by using the beer fridge instead, and get generally upset by not having pipe flexible enough to do the job you need to do.

Thankfully, at 9pm on Sunday, the new fridge was finally in. It was delivered on Wednesday, by two chaps who were not helpful in the slightest, who were rather rude and were insisting on being jobsworths. Of course that was far from the truth, but they went so far above and beyond the call of duty when they delivered it that what they did didn't happen, I didn't see anything, and I can't name them for fear their employer might bring about reprimands for excellent customer service.

With help from Ali (a lot of help) we're plumbed in and gradually filling the bucket with ice. Which is where the nightmare was supposed to begin...

On Wednesday night the boy found the new appliance sat in the kitchen. He wasted no time in pushing the two levers, one for the water and one for the ice. This is going to cause problems, when he gets cold and wet with the rush of our finest tap water spilling out all over the floor. It's got a child lock, but that just locks out the control panel and leaves the water and ice functional, according to the manual. Thankfully the manual is wrong, and the water and ice is turned off when the child lock is on. But what it does do is play a two-tone tune when they are pressed, thus encouraging the little one to push the levers. Well, better to have music than a wet floor I guess.

During our use of the beer fridge we have seen an interesting development. The odd Muller Corner has vanished from the fridge. Hmm, where could they be? We didn't need Sherlock Holmes to work it out, MOTS herself was witness to the "thief".

The boy was getting used to opening the fridge, getting a "Dori" (the Finding Nemo branded tubes of yogurt) to eat, but took it further with our Mullers. He helped himself, went to his cutlery drawer to get a spoon, and took his "swag" to the lounge where he opened his new found snack and devoured the lot. MOTS managed to catch some of it on camera for future prosecution purposes!

So is 2009 to be the year of independence? Or the "get it yourself" year? Or just the year he turns into a food monster, which he does when he's coming out of a cold...

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