Alder's Tone

OLD GRANDAD’S STORY

A new baby’s gender foretold in The Old Wives’ Tales
Can be anything between the proverbial heads and tails
The odds are even in a mathematical way of speaking
So it’s anyone’s guess – unless there’s any peeking.

Some swear by divining rods and pendulums, having a plan
That ignores high-tech sonics and other sorts of scan
But the witches’ old chestnut concerns the position
And how mum is ‘carrying’ is their favourite rendition.

The theory I’m told goes something like this
Although historically speaking I may be amiss
A baby boy is carried high, the reason being clear
He’s shy and far from the exit because of his fear

But a baby girl, like all of her ilk, is lying low
To make an impressive entrance – put on a show
She’s near the door, something she’d choose
So she’s that wee bit closer to M&S queues.

Grandma by the way seems very keen to declare
That she’s not an OWT member, despite the grey hair
She’s a probability fan having no time for farce
While promising her son-in-law a swift kick up the ****!

That's progress - I usually expect a clip round the lug!

Here are a selection of myths about how to tell whether you are pregnant with a boy or a girl. I will be adding to the poll based upon the most common answer based upon these twelve……it's very close with only one myth in it!

Boy
• you're carrying all out front
• you're carrying low
• you're blooming in pregnancy
• you didn't suffer from morning sickness in your first trimester
• your right breast is bigger than your left
• you crave salty food or protein, such as cheese and meat
• you tie your wedding ring to some thread, hang it over your stomach and it moves in circles
• your skin becomes dry
• you combine your age at the time of conception with the number of the month you conceived and the resulting number is even
• your hair has become more full-bodied and shiny during pregnancy
• you lie on your left side when sleeping
• your urine is bright yellow

Girl
• you're carrying all round
• you're carrying high
• you've missed the "blooming" period altogether
• you suffered morning sickness during your first 12 weeks
• your left breast is bigger than your right
• you crave sweet things, such as juice, fruit and sweets
• you tie your wedding ring to some thread, hang it over your stomach and it swings from side to side
• your skin is soft
• you combine your age at the time of conception with the number of the month you conceived and the resulting number is odd
• your hair has become thinner and dull during pregnancy
• you lie on your right side when sleeping

How about if heathens base number 2 on being a boy but there is a god after all and sends a girl in punishment? Daddy is expecting mo such luck, so girl it is!

Ok, so if I look at the old wives tales about morning sickness, where you carry, skin condition, cravings etc then The Boy should should have been a girl, but don't believe in any of that old tosh, so I plumbed for my own ying yang theory - so it's going to be a girl to balance out your household. There is no science behind it just wishful thinking that I'll finally get to buy some gorgeous little pink outfit that I find when I'm looking for practical boy outfits!!

If it is a girl then the household [budget] is seriously unbalanced. I'm betting our entire cashflow on blue. But, see my last comment - if it's a girl then it's categoric proof that I'm being punished!

If you go on the Curtis theory it should be a boy, but if you go on the Gardner theory it should be a girl. Who cares anyway as long as they are both OK

And on the watching the DVD theory, all previous theories have been blown out of the water!

Thats it.....when i am at yours on the 24th for lunch I am hunting down that envelope!!!!!!!

Good luck! It's not in the envelope any more, so look for the notes instead! Carefully tucked away for the midwives to access the chromosome results, but for us not to see!